Eight lines from billboard number-one singles that are as bad as any lyrics in Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday.’ All of these songs went number-one within the past two years. (vulgar language).
"Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow"
Usher – OMG
"Shittin’ on y’all with the boom boom
Shittin’ on y’all with the boom boom"
Black Eyed Peas – Boom Boom Pow
"Counting 1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul, and Mary
Getting down with 3P
Everybody loves counting."
Britney Spears – 3
"I’m just talking true, I’m telling you about the shit we do
We’re selling our clothes, sleeping in cars, dressing it down, hitting on dudes.
Hard."
Ke$ha – We R Who We R
"Imma be your banker loaning out semen."
Black Eyed Peas – Imma Be
"Sipping on, Sipping on sizz. Imma make make it fizz.
Girl I keep it gansta popping bottles at the crib."
Far East Movement – Like a G6
"Oh shit, my glass is empty. That sucks.
So if you’re too school for cool."
Pink – Raise Your Glass
"Got a call from my jeweler, this just in.
Bitches love me cause I’m fucking with their best friends."
Wiz Khalifa - Black and Yellow
You can say what you want about Wiz, but the guy understands the intricacies of the female psyche. There are plenty more bad lyrics I’m sure, but sifting through these songs has sent me spiraling into a musical depression. At least it’s less than an hour until Friday. And then Saturday comes afterwards…
My curly hair often has people asking if I’m Jewish. It’s time to set the record straight. These locks are all Irish.
And it could just be some leftover drops of Guinness in my blood from generations back, but for a long time, raucous Irish drinking music has had a special place in my heart. So, with St. Patrick’s Day just six hours away, I give you three of my favourite Irish tunes…
Whiskey in the Jar – The Dubliners
Although this traditional Irish song may be best known nowadays for its hard-rocking covers by Metallica and Thin Lizzy, the song is still at its most charming when sung by a bunch of wild Irishmen like the Dubliners.
Key Lyric: “But the devil take the women for they never can be easy.” Sorry Girls.
Salty Dog – Flogging Molly
Flogging Molly may be just as American as they are Irish, but that doesn’t mean they can’t barrel through a fierce jig with the best of them. Salty Dog is a short, riotous tune that inspires beer guzzling and pub brawling. What more can you ask for come St. Paddy’s Day?
Key Lyric: “You drank with demons straight from hell, they almost nearly won as well. You wiped the floor with victory then puked until you fell asleep.”
If I Should Fall from Grace with God – The Pogues
The real spirit of the Irish. Shane MacGowan and The Pogues have coined some of the finest drinking songs of all time (Streams of Whiskey, The Old Main Drag, etc.), but it’s this roaring patriotic masterpiece that evokes the true feelings of St. Patrick’s Day.
Key Lyric: “Let me go down in the mud where the rivers all run dry.”
When most Manitobans gaze at the sky on a clear night, they are met with familiar images – the glow of a crescent moon, the twinkle of distant stars, or maybe even the blinking lights of a passing jet. In Falcon Lake, however, a glance to the heavens can sometimes mean an encounter with something otherworldly.
“There have been lots of unexplained sightings in the area,” says Murray Imrie, owner of Falcon Beach Ranch. “I’ve heard stories of lights following people home in their boats.”
The “sightings” that Imrie refers to are supposed encounters with UFOs. That’s right, honest-to-goodness alien life forms playing some intergalactic prank by chasing innocent Manitobans around. Regardless of your views on extraterrestrial life, however, it is difficult to ignore Falcon Lake’s long history of encounters with the unknown.
The most famous of these encounters has simply become known as the Falcon Lake Incident. According to an analysis written by local writer and supernatural expert, Chris Rutkowski, the incident occurred on May 20, 1967, when amateur geologist, Stefan Michalak, allegedly came in contact with an alien spacecraft. In his analysis – found at ufoevidence.org – Rutkowski explains how Michalak approached the craft, thinking it was an experimental American vehicle. Michalak could hear two voices coming from the craft, so he addressed them in six different languages. None got a response. Finally, Michalak went right up to the craft, only to be hit with a blast of hot gas as it flew off.
In Falcon Lake, Michalak’s story is the stuff of legend. Tim Parr, a six-year employee of the Falcon Lake Resort Hotel, recalls when he first heard the tale. “I remember the hotel was decorated with alien stuff,” says Parr. “There was a big blow-up alien hanging from the ceiling, so I asked ‘what’s all this about’?”
Since learning of the Falcon Lake Incident, Parr’s fascination with the case has grown. “Over the past couple weeks I’ve come across some unclassified government documents online,” says Parr, working feverishly to locate the page.
And Parr isn’t the only one who’s intrigued by Michalak’s supposed UFO encounter. Imrie, who gives horseback tours to the site where Michalak allegedly saw the craft, says that he’s taken a number of fanatics to the location. “I’ve taken guys in there who were filming movies, people from the planetarium, all sorts,” says Imrie. He even mentions that he’d shown Rutkowski the site.
According to falconbeachranch.com, the tour – aptly titled the UFO Ride – takes one and a half hours, and costs $75 for two people. Imrie says the popularity of the ride is sporadic, however, he many have at least one potential customer on the horizon. “I can see myself taking a trip up to the site,” says Parr. “With my wife of course.”
And if they’re lucky, maybe Imrie and Parr will have their own encounter with some unearthly visitors. “People are continuing to see these things out here,” says Imrie. “So they must be coming from somewhere.”
“The Dreaming was my 'She's gone mad' album” – Kate Bush.
Fanatical screams, fierce grunts, primal chanting, occultist wailing, old-fashioned crooning, voice modification, and the sounds of donkeys and sheep. After multiple listens, it seems like The Dreaming could just as easily have been produced by a beast from the spiral nebula as a young woman from Kent, England.
Photo via rzrxtion at flickr.com
Kate Bush’s fourth album, The Dreaming,was released in 1982 when Bush was just 24 years old. The album was released more than two years after her previous album, Never For Ever, had entered the charts at no. 1 in 1980.
The Dreaming is aptly titled. Much like a dream, the landscape changes rapidly and without warning. Over the course of the album - and even within individual songs - the tone shifts so abruptly that it feels as if new, subconscious musical tangents are ripping through without Bush’s thought or restraint. No sound ever lingers.
In a way, listening to The Dreaming is similar to reading stream of consciousness writing: it’s wholly inventive, but only partially intelligible. This combination can be both frustrating and rewarding. For example, there are times – particularly upon first listen – where it becomes nearly impossible to stay afloat in the dense, cacophonous sound. The songs are often layered to the point of incoherency.
However, from this wave of oblique audio many great moments emerge, and they drip like melodic ripples down the backbone of the open-minded listener. For example, the distant psychedelic guitar, roaring helicopter, and Bush’s bone-chilling declaration of “I Love Life! I Love Life!” on the track “Pull Out The Pin.” Or her growling assertion – as she plays the part of Houdini’s wife – that his spit is still on her lips as his body hits the water.
These moments showcase Bush’s wild, shrill vocals. Although some may find her voice grating at times, her eccentric style allows her to achieve a level of unfettered expression. You can feel her joy, confusion, or pain in every piercing cry or arsenic-laced roar. On The Dreaming, lyrics take a back seat to the sound. Without actually hearing Bush’s words, you can recognize her emotion, giving the album a style that still sounds exotic today.
Highlights of this otherworldly masterpiece include: “Suspended in Gaffa,” which may be the most accessible song on the album; “Leave it Open,” which closes with a tugboat rush of drowning drums and Bush’s haunting backwards vocals squealing “We let the weirdness in.”; and “Night of the Swallow,” which successfully fuses a haunting ballad with a lively Irish jig.
Listening to the album now, I’m a little unsure how to market it. Usually I’d recommend listening to an album all the way through the first time, but The Dreaming is nearly too much to take in during one straight session.
The conclusion to the album brings back a kind of childhood terror. It makes me compulsively look around the room to ensure that no malevolent spirits have begun dancing behind me. It is reminiscent of Pink Floyd’s “Bike,” which concludes The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Rather than closing with harmony and satisfaction, both albums introduce a new, frightening riff just as the album is fading out. This approach leaves the album with a sense of irresolution and instability. But I guess that’s befitting of the oddity that has come before. Hee-Haw!
On another note, The Dreaming has some of my favourite cover art of all time. Kate Bush looks beautiful.
Listening Recommendations: In short stints while your synapses are firing at a reasonable rate. Or after ingesting Adderall.
