Songs for Janes, wherever I may find them

The reign of Jane is over. It's one of those unfortunate titles that - like Linda or Barbara - was once terribly popular, but has slowly drifted into a prolonged obscurity. Not since 1983 has Jane appeared in even the top 300 most popular female baby names. I'm not getting those statistics from anywhere, it's just something I know.

However, there was a time when meeting a girl named Jane was as common as meeting a drunk guy on public transit. Many of these Janes were born shortly after WWII during the baby boomer period. This meant that all these young lasses were becoming young women during the mid to late 1960's. The influence of this bloom rippled throughout the music world, resulting in a fine deluge songs about Jane. (I'd like to state now that I realize Maroon 5's debut album is titled, Songs about Jane. I've chosen to ignore this).

1931 Nobel Peace Prize winner, Jane Addams
(image via beginningofahero.com)

Nick Drake - Hazey Jane I

A soothing song that sees Drake questioning the motives and conceptions of a woman named Jane. Very melancholy and pretty. Also, with a title like "Hazey Jane" it's very possible that this song is about pot, although I don't hear it. Honourable mentions to Drake's other Jane tunes, "Hazey Jane II" and "Thoughts of Mary Jane." The guy loved him some Jane.

Bob Dylan - Queen Jane Approximately

A classic off what is likely Bob Dylan's most well-known and acclaimed album, "Queen Jane Approximately" portrays a Jane that is intelligent, popular, and narcissistic. I was once nearly fired for playing this song too loudly at work. Numerous customers complained to my manager during the second harmonica solo. This song may also be about weed.

The Velvet Underground - Sweet Jane

An epic, pillar-shaking opus to the name. Exalted in every way. Definitely about Marijuana. Or heroin. Or the dozen other vices Lou Reed carried. Or maybe just about a Sweet Jane.

Raising Musical Awareness: Chunga's Revenge

When a musician releases two superlative albums in the same year – especially ones titled Burnt Weeny Sandwich and Weasels Ripped My Flesh respectively – you know they’ve reached an artistic zenith that is unattainable to the standard breed. And then, with the release of Chunga’s Revenge that same year (1970), Frank Zappa was in the void.

image via wikipedia.com

 I don’t even know if Chunga’s Revenge is good. In typical Zappa fashion it is equal parts beautiful and terrible; equal parts brilliant and overwrought. “The Nancy & Mary Music” is the best example of this. It’s over 9 minutes of jazz-pop free-jamming. It’s hypnotizing and aggravating and genius. It may be the strongest song on the album and I’m pretty sure I don’t like it.

Similarly, a song like “Would You Go All The Way?” has all the garishness and crudeness of a number from The Rocky Horror Show. Yet somehow, just like the tunes in that musical, it remains charming.

However, there are definitely inarguable classics weaved in among the improvisation and tackiness. The two last tracks fall into this category. “Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink” is everything that makes Zappa wonderful. It may be trying to take a stance on the Musician’s Union? I don’t care. It is filled with life and nonsense. The thumping, brassy instrumentation and shrill, wild vocals make it a forgotten minor classic to my ears.

And the album closer, “Sharleena,” exists somewhere between a late-70’s porno soundtrack and a genuinely heartfelt love ballad. It’s the most emotionally revealing song on Chunga’s (outside of Zappa’s guitar work on the title track maybe), even if it is about a groupie. It is beautifully eerie, relatively commercial sounding, and probably my personal favourite on the album. 

The cover of Chunga’s Revenge is as accurate a summation of the album as any. Is he yelling? Yawning? For fans of Zappa’s earlier politically-driven or jazz-infused works the album will provide moments of true frustration. For new fans, the striking disparity in this collection of songs, both in terms of quality and genre, may incite anger. However, I’d venture to say that most will find numerous occasions to shout with delight. And anyone who doesn’t is a burnt weeny sandwich.

Listening Recommendations: In small doses twice weekly until you think Frank Zappa is a genius. Or until you hate him. Whatever comes first.

Songs for Emilys, wherever I may find them

Women are like granite countertops - they're very beautiful. And similar to granite countertops, they have long served as a powerful inspiration for the artist, the filmmaker, and, of course, the songwriter.

The names Roxanne, Layla, and Angie have given life to famous rock songs. However, the influence of the countertop-esque woman extends far beyond the realm of rock and roll, with Carmen and Salome lending their mysterious persuasion as the title characters of famous Operas.

Even among the great, melodious sea of female appellation, however, there are certain names that rise to the surface and appear as the titular theme to numerous songs. One such name is Emily.

Etiquette Aficionado, Emily Post
(image via vasmith.wordpress.com)

Pink Floyd - See Emily Play

The first song regarding an Emily that ever reached my ears (citation needed). The wailing organ, descending piano, and overall sense of strangeness sparked my continued association of Emilys with hard psychoactive drugs.

Simon & Garfunkel - For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

The most romantic song ever written. And it never mentions the name Emily once (beyond the title), making it the perfect tune to woo any starry-eyed, granite-like gal.

The Moody Blues - Emily's Song

This song has the name Emily in it and is written by late-sixties symphonic-rock band, The Moody Blues. That's really all I know about it.

The Stone Roses and Other Resurrections

A couple of weeks ago it was announced that legendary Manchester pop group the Stone Roses would be reuniting for two shows in their hometown next summer, followed by a subsequent world tour. I'm a big Stone Roses fan, but whenever something like this happens - a revered band reuniting more than 20 years past their prime - there's as much apprehension as there is excitement.

via imacsonline.com

Now I understand that it's unfair to expect the Roses to resurrect their past greatness in some impossible, ageless performance. It's unrealistic, and if we demanded that of all bands that get back together, we'd be disappointed eternally. However, in the case of the Stone Roses, it's justified.

You see, their last performance, more than 15 years ago now, was abysmal. Like hell-shakingly, mind-bludgeoningly abysmal. In fact, if you've never heard the Stone Roses before don't click that link. It will taint them in your ears and soul forever and make you think less of music in general.

Of course that doesn't mean I've lost hope entirely. It's very possible that lead singer, Ian Brown, was in the subterranean depths of a week long ether binge when that concert took place. If that was the case, let's hope he's kicked the habit come next summer.

Other bands I'd like to see reunite:

Neutral Milk Hotel (split 1999)
Talking Heads (1991)
The Smiths (1987)